Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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