Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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