Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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