Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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