"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
