Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
