Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
