she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
