My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
