I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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