This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
