Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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