o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
