so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
