how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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