Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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