I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
