I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
