return my video game
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize