I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
