Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
