Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
