I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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