So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
