Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
