I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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