Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
