i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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