That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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