You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
