Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
are you still at the devil's house?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
