listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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