I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Someone came in the potted fern
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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