So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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