Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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