you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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