I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
