just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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