Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize