Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize