make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
