wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
