pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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