Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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