Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Found the puke drawer
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
