You made me cry and you don't even care
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize