dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
