I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
