Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
