I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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