she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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