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You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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