The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
