Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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