38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
