i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
