oh god the rape fog is back!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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