we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
