What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
