Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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