I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize