i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
