So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
