He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
