My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
