It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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