no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
40s are totally the cure
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
