Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
