Me. At least after what I've been through.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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