Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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