Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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