God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
