Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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