You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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