just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
