What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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