Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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