You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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