fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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