ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
