brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
