he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
