Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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