he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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